That Special Someone

Everyone (or at least me and my friends) would like to find their special SOMEONE .. someday. Is it really that hard? Or are we over-picky?

I've never really had a girlfriend since the day I was borned. My reason for not having one is because I'm looking for that special person in my life. To have and to hold, to settle down and grow old. Now it seems, it's somewhat impossible..

Friends who are nice will say that I'm being romantic, but others will just say that I have too high a standard to begin with. But is it really so? When I look at someone, I admit I'll scrutinised them and sometimes comment on them. And that shouldn't be confused with my expectations in my future partner. Cos I asked for the very minimum if people were to ask me what do I look for in a girlfriend.. appearance: so long as she looks pleasant to me, build: slim, character: independent. Too much? Or too little?

Back to the topic... how do we know if the person you're dating/ going to date is the special someone in your life? Truth is, no one knows for sure. He/she may have set your heart ablaze.. or your adrenaline pumping .. but that's only the chemistry part. What about the physical and the psychological part? I think we can use an equation like this:

Special Someone = Chemistry x Physical x Psychological(EQ & IQ)

Reason being: when we first meet someone, we're attracted physically (appearance) and then comes chemistry. When the physical part die down, the psychological part will then take over. That's what many of the married couples are facing nowadays, they can't switch from the physical part to the psychological side and everything starts to crumble once they're into 5-10 years of their marriage or some even later.

So you see, having sex without love is purely physical. Making love satisfy not only the physical part, but also the psychologically as well. (to be continued....)

Being Twenty Something..

They call it the "Quarter-life Crisis". It is
when you stop going along with the crowd and
start realising that there are many things about
yourself that you didn't know and may not like.
You start feeling insecure and wonder where you
will be in a year or two, but then get scared
because you barely know where you are now.


You start realising that people are selfish and
that, maybe, those friends that you thought you
were so close to aren't exactly the greatest
people you have ever met, and the people you have
lost touch with are some of the most important
ones. What you don't recognise is that they are
realising that too, and aren't really cold,
catty, mean or insincere, but that they are as
confused as you.


You look at your job...and it is not even close
to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe
you are looking for a job and realising that you
are going to have to start at the bottom and that
scares you. Would you dare to take the risk?


Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what
others are doing and find yourself judging more
than usual because suddenly you realise that you
have certain boundaries in your life and are
constantly adding things to your list of what is
acceptable and what isn't.


One minute, you are insecure and then the next,
you're not. You laugh and cry with the greatest force
of your life. You feel alone and scared and
confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you
try and cling on to the past with dear life, but
soon realise that the past is drifting further
and further away, and there is nothing to do but
stay where you are or move forward.


You get your heart broken and wonder how someone
you loved could do such damage to you. Or you lay
in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone
decent enough that you want to get to know better.
High expectations? Certainly not...


Or maybe you love someone but love someone else
too and cannot figure out why you are doing this
because you know that you aren't a bad person.


One nightstands and random hook ups start to look
cheap. Getting wasted and acting like an idiot
starts to look pathetic. You go through the same
emotions and questions over and over, and talk
with your friends about the same topics because
you cannot seem to make a decision.


You worry about loans, money, the future and
making a life for yourself...and while winning
the race would be great, right now you'd just
like to be a contender!


What you may not realise is that everyone reading
this relates to it. We are in our best of times and
our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to
figure this whole thing out.

Test of the day

You are Cigarettes. Easy to get, nasty to smoke,
addictive as hell and you kill 400,000 people a
year. Congratulations.


What Drug Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

For Once In My Life

This sucks... I think I'm really down on my luck? Or is it simply I'm not making enough effort? My job sucks, my job hunt sucks, my life sucks!

Went for my only job interview last thursday and what happened? I screw up... yes.. totally screwed.
I wasn't the least bit prepared and when the interviewer asked me questions.. I simply act as though I know but couldn't recall and then after giving it some "thoughts", I just told him that I don't know. How great~ ;(
Though he mentioned that he's only helping the manager to assess the candidates' standard and will not be a deciding factor, I really don't think my chances are high at all.. bye to my 2nd interview!!

My mood has been very unstable these days.. don't know why. I flare up at the smallest of things and get easily irritated. Have no mood to work, feel like sleeping at home everyday.. doing nothing.. this is bad. Wonder if anyone has a solution or a miracle cure? Actually I know there is, just give me more money and flexible working hours.. too much to ask for?

be back later...


Currently listening to: Noon - Better than anything (a very nice jazz album)

Love

How do you measure love?


Do you measure it by the size of the hole it leaves behind after its gone? or simply by the number of "I Love You"s spoken?

No Subject

Continuation...
Went through some of the testimonials I wrote for a few friends on Friendster... I realised we really don't really meant what we say... it sounds so fake ...

"You're definitely a friend I want to keep for life", "I luv you ...but I know that you'll be always here (or try to be here)" ... in real life, it never happens. Everything was written in a spur of the moment. And when we do meet up, there's really very limited things that we can talk about... gone were the days in the past... so what's next?

I've did some soul-searching and I found that I've really taken up the role of a true friend quite well (not bragging), I'm always there when any of you need me. Is it because I'm single? Or is it because I'm too free? It's simply taking some initiatives to make things work. Friendship is just another form of relationship with one another, if you want to strengthen it, if you want it to work out, then please take some form of initiative yah?

Talking about which, I actually forgot my darling V's birthday. Normally I would have remembered it cos I stored everything in my phone's calendar but eversince I changed to this new phone, I'm so lost... (yeah it's just another excuse) but we really depend too much on our phone nowadays don't we? :P

K now, I better go and set alarm to remind myself to call V tomorrow ... and doublecheck her address. Am thinking of sending her some flowers/card . Goodnite!

What a true friend means?

Often we've heard "Oh you're such a true friend.." or "I only have a few true friends while the rest are just aquaintance"... but really, what's the real definition of a "true friend"?

Does being a true friend mean that he/she will stand by your side whenever you need them? Or does it mean that by picking you up when you're down qualify someone as your true friend?

We're often so caught up with our own work/relationships that we sometimes fail to see who is really true to us. Sometimes, they just happened to be at the right place, at the right time to temporarily fit into the category of being a true friend. I, for one, doesn't seem to have true friends. For most of the time, it's mainly one sided... when they needed me most, I'll be there to provide for them. But when I need them most, there's none in sight to care for me. I guess it's just life...

Recently this topic struck me when I really needed someone to go out with, to talk to. I'm so enclosed in my own little world and once my so-called true friends aren't available for me, I become a poor, lonely soul... waiting desperately for them to call... trying hard to beat boredom. Maybe I'm just being selfish, or maybe I just got too little friends.. all I know is that they mean alot more to me than they think. I guess I'll have to just plant my feet on the ground and accept the fact that no true friend will be there for you 24/7. You'll just have to face the cold, harsh world by yourself if they are not available..

Now... time for me to widen my social circle... :(

Too lost in you ... how apt

For that special someone:

You look into my eyes
I go out of my mind
I can't see anything
Cos this love's got me blind
I can't help myself
I can't break the spell
I can't even try

I'm in over my head
You got under my skin
I got no strength at all
In this state that I'm in
And my knees are weak
And my mouth can't speak
Fell too far this time

Baby, I'm too lost in you
Caught in you
Lost in everything about you
So deep, I can't sleep,
I can't think
I just think about the things that you do (you do)
I'm too lost in you (too lost in you)

Well you whispered in me
and i shiver inside
You undo me and move me
In ways undefined
And you're all I see
And you're all I need
Help me baby (help me baby)
Help me baby (help me now)

Cos I'm slipping away
Like the sand to the tide
Falling into your arms
Falling into your eyes
If you get too near
I might disappear
I might lose my mind

Baby, I'm too lost in you
Caught in you
Lost in everything about you
So deep, I can't sleep,
I can't think
I just think about the things that you do (you do)
I'm too lost in you (too lost in you)

I'm going in crazy in love for you baby (I can't eat and I can't sleep)
I'm going down like a stone in the sea
Yeah, no one can rescue me (No one can rescue me)

Oooh, my baby
Oooh, baby, baby

Baby, I'm too lost in you
Caught in you
Lost in everything about you
So deep, I can't sleep,
I can't think
I just think about the things that you do (you do)
I'm too lost in you (too lost in you)

I'm lost in you
I'm lost in you
I'm lost in everything about you
So deep (so deep), I can't sleep
I can't think
I just think about the things that you do (you do)
I'm too lost in you (too lost in you)

Horoscope..

Although I've always been a faithful follower ... this stuff really reinstate all my beliefs ;p


SCORPIO MAN


A man with a foggy clouds over him. He is
sensitive and easily hurt and
always feels lonely. He does not trust anyone
but himself. Sounding so
negative, but he has an amazingly charisma. He
is a compassionate man . He
absorbs other people sentimental feeling and
pain.

He is a good psychiatrist and he could
understand complex and confused
feeling. He has a hidden power that he could use
it to make things happen
and do things well. He does not like people who
never try to help themselves
before asking other people for favors. He is the
type of guy who mostly
achieved his goal in life.Once he sets his mind
for something, he will put
all his energy and efforts in it , whether or
not it is a small matter or a
big project. One of the most success man in all
the Zodiac.

He is a very patient man and can waits for years
to reach his goal. He hates
thin feeling and weak determinations. He can not
retreat or rest for long,
for he thinks life has more questions and more
answer to be searched.

If he is in love, you will get plenty of love
from him, sometimes may be too
much than you have asked for. He is serious
about love and relationship and
will not waste time with someone he does not
love whether how pretty she is.

He hardly makes mistake. He could tell if you
have any bad thought, and will
not hesitate to tell you so. If you do not like
straight forward sincere
man, then pack your bag now. If you are an over
sensitive person, try not to
ask for his comments. He will tell you the
truth, even you might not be able
to take it. Example , if you ask him if you are
fat (and you are fat), he
will say "yes, as big as a balloon". He makes
such comments because he cares
for you, so do something about your weight and
do not get up set with him.

If he says "you look pretty today", you can be
proud because he will not say
such think just to please you if he does not
really mean it. There will be
both kind of people, those who like him and
those who hate him. If you are
in love this guy, be strong and belief in your
decision, do not be
vulnerable. He remembers all his anger and will
wait for his pay back time.

He is very serious about your promise, do not
promise something you could
not keep. He loves his friends and will do
anything for his close friends.
He likes you to take care of him, but not in
front of his friend. He is a
complex man and you will never understand what
he means if you do not really
know him. He is happy to know he is a complex
figure. When he is thinking or
when he needs his privacy, you should give him
some space.

He memorize everything well. You may say
something that you already
forgotten, but he will remember every words. He
wants to be respected and
admired and at the same time he does not like
people to have power over him.

When he falls in love, he really falls deep. A
man in this Zodiac once in
love, he will be sweeter than sugar. He does not
like a plain and simple
woman. A complex woman's mind is his venture.
Always be interesting and able
to talk to him about every things in any
subjects. He does not like a woman
who sits around waiting for his call.

Happy New Year 2004!!!

Well ,its the beginning of a brand new year and seriously the last year was as fucked up as it can get (for me that is)

A sms from my darling V, "May the fleas of a thousand camels infest the ass of the person who fucks up your year and may his arms grow too short to scratch his ass! HAPPY NEW YEAR!" LOL that was the best I've heard for quite a while.. and crude as it may sound, it actually means well =) Thanks darl

The last week was plagued with bad luck n suay-ness... firstly, for nothing I was blamed for not knowing what the client needs when it wasn't even me who had the meeting with them. If you are stressed, don't take it out on other people.. wtf, what goes around, comes around and may you be the first to have fleas up ur ASS cos you fuckup my year . Then on NYE you want to have some shit meeting, when everyone else (including statutory boards) is working half-day. I stormed off at 2pm and for that you want to deduct half day leave from me? Go ahead, as if I give a fuck about it. We'll just wait and see, i'll show you what a scorpio can do when they're pissed.

Shall not ruin the 1st day of a brand new year. Hope that I can find a job soon and fuck off from that place, my new year resolutions:

1. Thou shalt not procrastinate
2. Thou shalt be more disciplined

[Please, please stick to it?] Hope it'll stick to me like a post-it pad thru out the year.. once again, Happy New Year!!


Peace,

Hobbit Personality Test

You are most like
Aragorn (Stryder) Son of Arathorn

Aragorn's decisions often seem against conventional wisdom, but he knows what to do and why it must be done, regardless of the cost.
You are good at making contingency plans and come up wiith efficient means to acheive clear-cut ends. You are highly independent, and continue on with your plans even in the face of data that might suggest to others that it's no longer feasible. Time alone is important and solitary activities refresh you. You have a tendency to introspection. In your desire for clarity in life, you may have the tendency of being remote or even "heartless". You try to schedule your life as much as possible. You tend to finish your work before resting.

As the foil to Aragorn, Sauron clearly embodies the evil side of this personality.

Traits: Pragmatic, autonomous, ingenious, resolute. On the dark side you could desire power and domination.


http://www.hobbitlore.com/personality/index.php

Hmm... so true

http://haleonline.com/psychtest/
You're an INTP

INTP
You're on a quest for logical purity...you're motivated to examine universal truths and principles...always asking "Why?" and "Why not?"...can focus with great intensity on your interests...you appreciate elegance and efficiency in thought processes and demand it in your communication...

You might appear low key in appearance and approach, you're hard as nails when challenging a truth...you don't like to deal with the obvious...at your best when developing unusual or complex ideas...you can be an under- achieving but very capable student...if you don't like a rule, you're quick to challenge it and find flaws in it -- this could make you somewhat of a rebel...if you like the rule, though, you have a respect for it and go along with it...

A relentless learner in areas that hold your interest...you might seem "lost in thought" to others...you tend to connect unrelated thoughts...you would rather be the architect of a plan than the implementer of it...you need a private, quiet workplace that allows for flexible independence... would rather organize ideas than people....

You tend to stay away from traditional leadership roles, and would rather lead with your ideas...you don't get emotionally involved, but rather tend to follow logical reasoning.....leisure has two dimensions to you: first, you like to concentrate and reflect on conceptual matters -- second, you like to take risks in the external world (like skydiving?)...

You like to read, think, watch TV, play with computers..(and post on the Storm Palace message bases).. sometimes you'd rather do these types of things than hang around other people...you don't necessarily like "best sellers" or "must see" movies because you don't trust people's opinion on what's "popular" and would rather make a value judgment for yourself....

Love, for you, has three distinct phases: falling in, staying in, and getting out. falling in love is a loss of rationality for you, and you fall HARD...an all or nothing phenomenon....

The "staying in love" phase is where you start to evaluate the relation- ship's structure and form. You may withdraw at this point because you're moving toward your most customary inward style and nature. A lot of the open affection stops....the giddy state changes... The "falling out of love" part (which doesn't always happen) results from an analysis of the real expectations of the realationship and needs of the relationship. Often an undefined line is crossed that neither of you knew about in advance. However, if you end it, you'll keep the relationship going as a friend in some capacity if you have a reason....

Pitfalls: don't focus too much on the inconsistencies of others...try being friendly and showing appreciation of others...being competent is very important to you, and you could be too hard on yourself....don't let your emotions take control -- you could have outbursts or appear hypersensitive...

INTP: "It's Not Theoretically Possible"

Memories

Memories (n. pl. mem·o·ries) - The mental faculty of retaining and recalling past experience

Yesterday night was spent at East Coast Park, recollecting all my memories of the past years.
From macs, I walked all the way to my fav breakwater near PA (after Bedok Jetty). Basically I went past the bbq pit where I had my first #icehockey bbq near the tennis courts. That was also the first time I brought Jo along to meet the rest and she was so out of place so we walked further down and sat along a stone bench to talk n stuff... after that I walked her over to mandarin gardens, took a cab n sent her back and then I went back to ECP. Still remember how I had a crush on her then.. =)

Then past the food centre.. its under renovations/ upgrading till who knows when.. had alot of memories there too.. always had lunch there after poly and then find some place to smoke. But the most fond memory of the food centre was having dinner with Lauren n Kai. The first time I actually went out with her alone.. after going to NP to meet her, took a bus down to Orchard, had lunch at BK (Orchard Emerald) and then took another bus to mandarin gardens. After dinner, we proceeded down to the breakwater after Bedok Jetty, sat there n listen to the waves crashing against the breakwater.. how serene, how soothing..

A bit further down, I sat at the exact spot when I was with Emily 2 yrs back, she was going thru a transitional period after her breakup with KY... I guess I was partly responsible for all the tears that flow out of her eyes and how much she suffered. Probably that's why I tried so hard to make it up to her, keeping her company, as and when she needs. I'm glad she's ok now.. although we only meet up once a year.. during my birthdays.. I shall make an effort to ask her out more often from now.

It's funny how I only managed to sit down at that spot for less than 5 mins. I was supposed to find solace near the breakwater.. I always did.. cept for yesterday. So I just carried on walking... felt abit like Forrest Gump.. when he ran across the whole of America to try to clear his mind, n finding a purpose in life after Jenny... I don't know what was on my mind though.. only felt that it's in a mess, so foggy that I don't even know what's inside. And so I ended up at Bedok South.. outside Bedok Court where I hailed a taxi n went back home. My feet felt sore n slightly blistered after the short rest in the taxi.. weird huh? Cos during the hour plus or so of walking, not once did I feel the soreness

Guess thats the end of my walk in the night yesterday.. will try to go down more often if possible. I don't get lost in memories.. I simply survive on memories.. they keep me alive and push me on with my life.. now thats good isn't it? =)

Tired....

Wonder how come I'm so easily tired lately.. just dun have the urge to go work anymore.. talk about job satisfaction ;p

Anyways, took MC today because I've been werking so hard lately (yar rite) and I've been having blocked nose n cough since monday but didn't go to see the doc then because my colleague was on leave and I have to cover his duties, and since now that he's back, I can safely go take MC and rest at home..

Went to tampines central with wendy in the afternoon.. been such a long time since we last meet up. Quite surprised to see that she still got the mashimaro seatbelt cover i got her in 2001. *so touched* basically just walked around tampines mall, then had coffee at CS and then shopped for some groceries at NTUC.. kinda bored but that's what I'm feeling now.. can't perk myself up to do anything or to even appear energetic. Suxx? yeah i think so too.. now.. what should I do tomorrow after work leh?? I would love to catch Matrix Revolutions but can't seem to find anyone to watch with me. Maybe I'll just join amee and peifen but I realised there'll be silence because of no common topic between us...kinda awkward (so you better think twice and don't ruin ppl's meeting) .. then what can I do? where are all my frens when I NEED them?

Think its time to get myself a companion/ gf/ buddy/ fuckmate or watever you call em. =)

Michael Bublé - The Way You Look Tonight

Michael Bublé (pronounced as Bloo-bey), currently playing on my winamp. Life can be soooooo boring especially when you have all the time to do everything and yet you don't feel like doing anything.

Let's give a warm round of applause to edharob

Welcome myself to eBLOGGER *clap clap*
Geez... i guess this is good esp for ppl like me.. who like to talk to myself =)