Open Relationships - The Pros n Cons

Having an O.R might not be as easy as you might have heard. The advantages are obvious.. you are both free to sleep with anyone you find attractive and do it without guilt or fear of being found out. You enjoy each other's company, you have alot in common, and you love each other. It's like having your cake and eating it too, in every flavour you crave. An O.R really can be ideal.. if you can manage it.

But life is rarely ideal, an O.R may require more work than a normal one. The biggest obstacle most people faced would be "Jealousy". Jealousy stems from insecurity, fearing that we are unworthy or not as worthy(attractive, itelligent, successful) as someone else. We all want to be liked, even if we claim otherwise. We want to be respected for not giving a damn, for being ourselves. And no matter how confident we may be, we all deal with insecurity to a certain extent. Some people are so consumed with feelings of inadequacy that jealousy is the dominant force in their lives. Their relationships are battlefields, constant competitions in which everyone loses because those inflicted with feelings of inferiority are too insecure to be satisfied with equality. They strive to feel superior which requires dominance and control.

Even those with a rather positive self-image are susceptible to jealousy. No matter how attractive, intelligent or successful we are, there will always be someone whom we think has us beaten in one or more departments. Can your relationship survive if you feel that your partner might prefer someone else to you?

These and other questions will have to be asked and thoroughly answered before a successful O.R is possible.. like questions of commitment, love and emotional bond in your relationship.

Overall, relationships take alot of work. Sometimes an O.R is nothing more than a way to avoid the responsibilities that are a natural part of sharing your life with another person. An O.R, though promising freedom, can also offer escape. And there is a difference.. if you see an O.R as a quick-fix to a problem neither of you are willing to discuss or believe that it's beyond repair, then it's purely an escape.. it'll never result in genuine freedom. But if freedom is what you seek from an O.R, and you and your partner are willing to give it a try, know what you both hope to accomplish. Look both ways before crossing the road or you'll never make it to the other side.

Just remember the golden rule if you want to opt for an O.R - "When it's time to let go, let it go." Don't cling on to your partner like a parasite, hoping that it's possible for a 2nd chance, when your partner wants to end the whole O.R. That's not how the game is supposed to be played.


Kudos to Brian from Date.com for providing the interesting article on The Pros and Cons of an Open Relationship , thus making this possible :)